We compared the 60D and the 7D, the 60D had just been released and wasn`t that much cheaper, a few things I have learnt to appreciate on the 7D since.
The AI Servo, once you get used to it and play around with the settings is really good at tracking fast moving things. For action and wildlife it works well. I am into a bit of bird photograhy and into chasing the kids around, they are more challenging.
The large view finder is definitely worth having.
If you mainly use it with spotfocus and normal single shot focus the 60D will be fine.
As far as favouring the 60D due to video, have you done much video with a DSLR?
Its ok but a bit painful due to the shallow dof and keeping things in focus, you certainly chew through memory pretty quick.
We also have a HD video cam, a Canon HF 200 and its much easier to use for video, its small in size and memory cards and battery last much longer.
In my honest opinion a DSLR is never going to be discreet, its the lenses that you stick out the front that stuff you up there. If that is a priority have you considered a HD cam and a P&S like the Powershot S95?
Also how fast are your cards and what size?
You may find that you need to get bigger and faster cards, especially for video. For me it was a surprise stepping up from a 10MP camera to 18MP, if you shoot raw will fill them up pretty quick and HD video needs fast cards. I could easily fill up 4GB and have now got 8 and 16. I also have bought a second battery, as I was getting caught out, ie I didn`t always charge it every few days.
Sounds to me like you could do with all three, a DSLR and P&S and a HD video cam.